Dealing with a Deadbeat Boyfriend

Well, I know it can get tough to be stern and rude for some crazy in love. But you will have to take major and strict action against your deadbeat boyfriend. Here is some troubleshooting advice 

• First of all understand the reason for his deadbeat behavior. Was he always like this or something is compelling him to be this way. Talk things out to him and explain how this is affecting you physically, emotionally and financially too.
• Chalk out a plan for improvement, discuss his studies or career with him. Know what he is interested in, and wants to pursue. If you can see a silver lining there, encourage him for better and see how it works.
• Give him a buffer time to get things sorted and straight. Be stern and reasonable. Tel him this attitude is not acceptable and he needs to change his behavior socially and personally towards you and treat you with respect.
• Finances are the most important part that needs to be discussed. When he is deadbeat, it is most likely that he is living of your earnings. Give him a blunt proposal. If you are sharing the place, he needs to take care of half the expenses. You can divide the bills and other expenses.
• If he is a part timer give him the smaller burden of expenses, but let him know nothing comes for free. If he is studying, he is very likely to use it as an excuse for not working. Persuade him to at least find an internship or a part-time job, that can take care of his needs.
• If he is a full-time professional, there cannot be any compromise on the finances. He has to bear an equal share (or more) of expenses. Ask him to share household work as well. Whatever he is comfortable with, be it cooking, doing the laundry or the dishes. Get him off the couch, if possible cut off your cable and Internet subscriptions, let him know what life is without your support.
• Stop falling prey to his sugar-coated words that melt you. The point is, he knows your weakness and will use it as weapon each time. Do not fall for this trap, it may be tough in the beginning. But girl, if you want this to work, there is no escape to the practical outlook, no matter how emotional and sensitive you are for him.
• If your deadbeat boyfriend is abusive, take social help. Talk these issues with a counselor to tackle emotional trauma. If he abuses you physically, call for help. Pronto. Contact social services or the police for help. This should awaken his sluggish mind.
• If nothing works and your deadbeat boyfriend does not show even the slightest of change, give him an ultimatum! Just get rid of him, dump him! Get out of this abusive relationship right now. If he stays in your house, ask him to leave. Change all the locks on the door, change your number if possible.
• In extreme cases, the police will have to intervene to get rid of this trash you were nourishing for free. It sounds harsh, but remember he is not worthy of all your love. 'HE' has compelled you to take this harsh step. So throw him out of your life.

 
If it sounds tough, ask yourself a question. Do you really deserve all this? Did he even give back little of what you did for him? You will get your answer. Well, nobody fancies a break up. But dragging the relationship and tolerating a deadbeat boyfriend is wrong. Be strong and I mean it, 'be really strong'. Deadbeats are experts at manipulation, do not let them rot your life. Listen to that inner feeling, do not avoid it just because you fear losing him. Hope all gets well soon. All the best!